JPOR: Hard core 4x4

["Paul W." <a4xnut@xxxxxxxxx>]

Signs that you're a hardcore Fourwheeler:

You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the
neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street
or in the front yard.
 
-The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
  1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop, 10' high doors.
  2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motorhome, a crew cab dualie, a 28'enclosed
trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
  3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
  4) A mechanic's pit.
  5) Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
  6) Deaf neighbors.
  7) Across the street from a paint and body shop.
  8) Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property
somewhere -or- hookups for the motorhome

-Your email address refers to your truck/4WD addiction rather than to you.
-You buy new parts because you don't know where you put the spares.
-You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture for your
house!
- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of parts that
could have been purchased.
- You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
- Your garage holds more vehicles than your house has bedrooms.
- You have enough spare parts to build another truck.
- You have truck parts in your cubicle at work.
- Your Christmas list begins with another set of Swampers and a locker and your
'significant other' knows what they are
- After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next question is
always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
- You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.
- People know you by your "off"s". "Oh, you are the one stuck in the mud at
Fishing Creek last weekend!"
- You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.
- Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto repair skills.
Air tools optional (or maybe not ;)
- You plan your wedding around the club schedule.
- You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every
other week or so.
- You give out 4WD parts store's number when a friend asks for the best
hardware store.
- You hate long distance driving, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the
trail.
- You save broken car parts as " momentos".
- You know the exact story behind every one! (see above)
- You would choose a rollbar over air conditioning if it were an option.
- Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the
ideal crawl ratio for given situations.
- When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "The Jeep Owners Bible"
- You own five Trucks and only one of them is really street legal.
- There's a poster of Moab up on the wall next to the family portraits.
- Your video collection contains more wheelin videos than regular videos.
- Your friends call to tell you they found another way into the woods rather
than to see how your doing.
- You refer to "Friends" by the type of truck they drive rather than names.
- You filled out the Top Truck Challenge Voting card but threw away the Census
2000 forms.
- 90% of you work e-mail is wheelin related
- You keep trying to coerce your significant other to allow you to remove the
doors on the minivan.
- You refer to the local construction site as "The testing ground".
- You can remember how to get to every trail you've been on but get lost going
to your in-laws.
- "The Big Question" refers to Bogger or SSR.
- When someone says someone is Biased you immediately think of tires.
- Your truck no longer fits in the garage.
- Your truck has gone to supermodel status and doesn't leave the garage for any
trail less than a 4+.
- Your daily driver is considered a mild trail rig.
- Drivers behind you can see the car in front of you, under the truck.
- The term "Open with Attitude" is tattooed on you, or you're thinking about
it.
- You base your next vehicle purchase on it's crawl ratio and whats available
for it in the aftermarket.
- People see pictures of your truck flexed out and ask "Is it broken?".
- You stopped washing your truck cause it shows off the scratches.
- Your boss asks you not to bring the truck to work anymore because it won't
fit in the parking garage without the antenna scraping the ceiling.
- You've actually replaced a flourecent light in the parking garage cause your
antenna hit it.
- Your club web site is your homepage.
- You are in search of a house that borders state forest and refuse to buy
anything that's not even remotely close to it.
- You'll drop a couple grand on new axles but the kitchen sink still leaks.
- The vacation pictures are all off-road.
- You ALLWAYS have your drinks on the rocks!
- You look at an open area in the woods and can determine the best line.
- You base your social class on your recent RTI score rather than how much
money you make.
- Working on your truck is considered relaxation.
- Everytime you see a lowered truck you wanna get out and bitch slap the
driver.
- You look at other cars and think to yourself "I can crawl over that".
- You consider Rubicon & Moab as the holy lands.
- Tellico no longer scares you.
- You carry more (intact) parts to the trail than home.
- You've installed or though about installing a lift on the lawn mower.
- You consider anything without 4wd-Useless.
- Your ideal vehicle is a Unimog.
- Your truck cost as much as an italian sports car.
- When someone mentions "Xtreme" your eyes light up!
- Motivation invloves someone saying "you can't make it" - or even more likely,
"No one can make it."

And the #1 Sign you're a hardcore wheeler:

-It's not considered a good trail ride if no one breaks!




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